You can't see tomorrow with yesterday's eyes

College is a pretty picture and in order to really enjoy it like they've been talking about for years, you've gotta forget all the shitty contingents and just immerse yourself in the pretentiousness of it all.


I'm not lonely anymore but I feel alone; I think I've successfully settled into the cold lack of feeling that is being single (even though I'm supposed to still be with someone at home, someone I still love but can't imagine loving because he's so far away and we have hardly spoken for a while).


Memories resurface and I can't handle the lack of certainty or the narrowmindedness of the situation. I don't want to have to make a decision about anything, but it's myself who's forcing the decision-making. Is it self-important to keep faith in someone else in the face of all their shortcomings?

"If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise...
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son"

-If, Rudyard Kipling